Image

Postcard from Arkansas

In yoga teacher training—we’re closing out week three of four—we’ve been talking about how the will won’t ever be enough alone. Matt asks: “Have you ever noticed how even in your best efforts, you can’t live up to your highest ideals?” I had a lot of ideas about what and how much I’d be doing by now that I haven’t. That’s sort of the long way of saying I’m sorry for not writing.

Here’s the short version: Thanks to Tennessee, I know I want land and to grow my own food. Thanks to Arkansas, I know I want to know more about yoga and that I’d like to teach. Thanks to the road time in between, I know that I’m actually the kind of person I’ve always admired. I want to keep going.

Plans for the second half of the year are shifting a little. I’m still not sure about how much or when, and it’s that liminal space that makes me squirm—that damn Unknown. Still, where I used to freak about making the right decision, I think I get it now that they’re all right. They just go different places.

There’s a limit to striving. At a certain point it isn’t up to me and what a relief.

Image

Camper Life

When I was a kid, I’d always leave the kitchen cupboards open. It drove my stepdad insane. Now that my whole living space is about half the size of that kitchen, I understand why.

Lesson 1 of camper life: Always close the cupboard doors.
Lesson 2: Sweep. Two, three, four times a day. Work pants live on the porch.
3. Everything has a home. Always put a thing in its right home.
4. Basically, don’t make a mess.
5. Go outside.

IMG_2257
They match!

Between the farming and the paddling I’ve been sleeping like a dead person when I do retreat to my cozy little trailer. My body is feeling it, for sure. Of all the things I thought to pack for this trip, I’m very grateful I remembered a foam roller.

It occurred to me that if you don’t know how to be grateful for what you do have (and that can include a bright yellow piece of foam), you won’t notice when you finally get what you’re after. You’ll keep making the future responsible for your happiness when the honey’s been on your fingers all along.

IMG_2242
Cheesin’ on my first paddle of the season

So, WWOOFing. It’s awesome.

We start work most mornings at 7AM, and it’s pretty sweet that my commute is all of a step off my porch. I head into the house for some breakfast and then Stephanie, my host mom, and I go out together. Trish, who works on the farm full time, usually pulls up shortly after. Some mornings we harvest for restaurants; sometimes we seed or transplant or clear beds. The chickens get fed, eggs collected. The sun is up and hot in just a couple hours.

Stephanie is amazing and nothing less. From her I’ve been learning about soil health, gut health, medicinal herbs, essential oils, sourdough, kombucha making, DIY cleaning supplies, homeschooling, hard work, and patience. She’s a phenomenal farmer, cook, wife, mother, and mentor. Nothing gets her ruffled.

IMG_2199
Sometimes the best cell reception is on the tractor

I am Soaking. This. Up. I don’t yet have words for how grateful I am to spend my days this way. Even in a few moments of homesickness I am stuffed with Thank You.